Reasons

         I must forget the times of trouble but not the truths they taught, the days of sorrow but not the strength, the bitter moments when heaven seemed unkind. The courage, kindness, faith and wisdom.


       Again. Again. Everything happens for a reason. You just have to accept, that it just have to happen. And you are not to blame anybody. It's His will. Well, you can't blame Him . We just have to accept it. Face, whatever it is. Whoever's on blame. Still. It's a part of life. Sarcastic. Right, because, sometimes, things just happen for no reason, and whenever we lose hope, we blame Him. And I say, it's a big NO NO... Man? you're not alone! don't think that you're given the worst problem in life! Just that. You have to solve it on your own, guess that is why we learned the lesson "problem solving" , right? Well, then if you can't? why not ask for help. He shouldn't have created other men if not for any use. Come to think of this. It's so useless to question the things happening in our life. We all know that nothing will happen without anyone’s action.

Hopeless Romantic

           I cant describe this feeling! Only a few days, i thought it was all OVER. With all those tears and curses, i let all negative thoughts flow from my subconsciousness to the world of consciousness. I was out there, showing the world the remarks of a hopeless individual. In broad daylight, i allowed everybody to see the best example of pain and vulnerability of love. I was ready to give up, live my life alone, to be free from cares. But i was wrong, too wrong for a wrong.

           I was afraid to admit it. But it's love. Too late have i realized that love is so broad that you really have to search for its true meaning. Such a hopeless romantic. So show me then, love not with words, but of different countless ways. 

" ISIP ISIP "

            "Bigyan ko lang daw sya ng chance at papatunayan daw nyang kaya nyang magbago at magpakatino. Maghihintay daw sya, bka daw sakaling bumigay ako."

        Naniniwala ako sa minsan-nang-nagawa-kayang-kaya-pa-ulitin term. Eto nga't nagpaparamdam at nagsasabi ng kung ano ano. Pero wala pa rin eh. Sadya lang sigurong, lahat sila'y puro salita lang.

           Napaisip nlang ako. Ba't ba kasi kailangan pa nila ng taong dahilan para magbago? Ba't di nalang nila gawin para sa sarili nila. Siguro nga, iniisip nalang nilang -"Para saan pa kung magbago ako para sa sarili ko, kung wala rin namang makakapansin. Bakit pa? Sana nga di na lang ako pinanganak! Puro nlang kasi kamalasan ang buhay ko!"- ayan ang sabi nung isa. Pero di ba, may rason ang lahat ng bagay. Kaya siguro nagkakaganun buhay nya dahil kulang siya sa paniniwala. Sisihin ba naman ang Diyos? hay. Maling mali. Hindi ako banal na tao, pero may takot ako sa Kanya. Siguro nga lahat tayo, may sari-sariling paniniwala. Pero hindi ako perpektong tao. Sinusubukan ko, at wala naman sigurong masama sa pagbabago dba? 

         Ang dami ko nang nagawang kalokohan. Pero kailangang magpakatino. Tama na ang ilang sermon galing sa kanila. Nagkamali naman talaga ako eh. Basta ba, huwag sila aangal pagka ako naman ang tama. Ang dami na nga nanibago sa mga pananaw ko, hindi lang sila sanay. Akala kasi nila, di ko kayang lumaban at magdesisyon para sa sarili ko. Naman! Alam ko na rin kung ano ang tama sa mali. At alam ko na rin magbilang, alam ko na nga pangalan ko eh, at alam ko ring mag-isip. Pero salamat sa mga nakapansin sa akin. Kahit puro mga mali ang pinansin nila. Nakilala nila ako sa pawang katotohanan lamang.

"MISS" ng Aming Handog Family from The Ruby Anniversary 2007

         WOW! Great experience being a part of this big show. I never thought of joining this, it just so happened  that Kimi messaged me and told me about it. For fun and something to waste time, that it was all from nothing. I didn't expect any. I just have to try something new before leaving this campus. Fortunately, really fortunate. I was picked as one of the dancers for the Concert!

•  Miss Maria Contessah Gonzales-Gamboa

      Mistakenly known as terror, with all those shouts of 'SMILE!!' How can I forget these lines:

1. "cmon guys..what's wrong?"
2. "do you have any problem?"
3. "always look at the audience!"
4. "ok! everybody . cuddle up!"
5. "you always keep me waiting..."
6. SMILE! God Loves You!

     Augh! I miss her. She's like a mother to us, a cool mom. She's not any ordinary lady, I should say. I remember, just after practice prepping for home, we were at the music room, playing around and making noise with the piano, she entered and asked if we wanted to hear her play. And of course... we do! From there I heard a sad music. Filled with pain and loneliness. I have seen a mother longing for her child. How a wife stops seeing her husband. How a woman hides her tears when everything seems to be tiring. As if, I wanted to hug her and tell her that we'll always be by her side. But I didn't, and just let her play.


Why didn't she cry, and let her tears fall?
          ...to show us that for every pain, there is an ease. Showing us how we should be, when everything seems to be wrong and reminding us to be strong...


"MISS" is a difference. I am really thankful for knowing her. For all of those pieces of advice she gave. I know, someday. I'll have to use it for as she have said:

"It's not on what you want or like, it's on what is right "

This is my last story for High School. For how my world changed till I met her,  from being a loner to a more socialized girl. In 5 or 10 years time, I'll always look back to where I am from and why I was there.
Thank you "miss" for showing me, and us, of how and what we should be.

Sarcasm

Too much. It's not so me.

         

      I have to admit that I've changed. My ways, ideas, trends, views and everything. Why so mean? Especially with boys? Maybe i still have that hatred. And I find their ways so sarcastic, so useless. But am not to tell how and why. Am starting to hate them. Stop me! I don't want to hurt you, guy friends. Maybe. They really have to deal with me now, and to how i think about them. But am not referring to all of them. Just to those who are numb dumb! Freak. Oops! Peace man! My fingers just typed it.

Don’t you dare.

     

          I always do what I want. Sometimes not thinking of what others may think. I continue what am doing as long as am happy with it. As long as am not hurting any. But of course, when things seem to be so complicated, they’re pulling  me. Patience ! Oh patience! Stop me.

"Don’t you dare me do what I never want to do."

         Others may say I'm mean. So ‘ma-arte’, ’pa-pansin’, ‘flirt’, or maybe ‘mafeeling’? But I shall thank them for that. They just gave me a name and it's much appreciated. And it is what they think and I don't own them, so am better of my own. I don’t live to please them.

Not All Men are Men

        I never planned this. I didn't want him to like me. I never asked for it. We really just have this same personality. I am bad, he is worse. He is not perfect, as I am. He's always been true. He tells me what he thinks is just right for me to know. I don't care if I'm cruel or mean. My harsh and mean words were stuck with him. Yet, he still accepts. Same with me. Whenever I'm wrong, he tells me frankly. I admit that I've grown a lot. In my ways, my acts,my opinions,the way I think. Maybe, thanks to him. That he caused me much pain, misery. Damn it all. And now, am waiting for a man, a real man who could show me that not all men, at least be a MAN!

Life's Risk

"Life is about taking risks. Making mistakes is as much as a part of life as succeeding is. In making a decision, you might be wrong or you might be right. But you'll never know if you won't decide. If you fall, stand up and learn. There are so many things in this world we need to learn and some are learned best the hard way. "


-Anonymous

Fake it or Make it

             I don't want to make another mistake. I'm afraid that one day, everything will change. And I don't wanna turn out to be a fool. I don't want another pain, who wants ending up crying anyway. But am really confused. What's happening? Why am i making myself suffer from this. Am I really a fool? I'm always carried out with my emotions. Always undecided. And doesn't even care to what other people say about me. But am tired of it myself. I don't want to be the issue of the year, the cover for their magazine and be the trending topic worldwide. I just wanted to have a low-profile. And I hate being talked about.

               But then. One day, I thought, "how can i be myself, when I'm faking it?"

How can i be totally happy, if I'd let those rumors and gossip girls affect me? Am I right or I am Right?

I don't have to please anyone. Love me or hate me. It's me. No other girl would ever be. Just me! (wink!)

Hate How Much I Like You

RIGHT! Gaya ng sabe. Hindi matanggap na gusto mo na nga siya.
Ayaw pa aminin. Paano kung nawala sya?
Matatanggap mo ba? Madalas yan ang problema sayo.
Saka lang makikita ang halaga, kung kailan na wala na.

• Tama ba? Naalala ko lang yung sa Retreat sa Baguio. Yung palabas eh, "Magnifico".

Horoscope for today (February 8, 2007 )

The Bottom Line

Your confusion about a new person in your life is helping you grow.

In Detail
A new person in your life is intensifying efforts to communicate with you. Give yourself time to sort through how you feel about this, because you might not know how to react at first. This person is still a bit of a mystery to you, and you might not be quite sure what to think. Is it all some sort of joke? In a very odd way, this confusion will be refreshing and exciting to you. Instead of frustrating you, this person is putting you in touch with a new part of yourself."

Comment:
Guess, some are just so relevant with me today. 

USELESS = IKAW

             Wala namang masama sa ginawa niya. Salamat pa sa kanya. Salamat. Salamat. Wala kang nagawa. Kailangan bang sabihin pa lahat para kumilos ka? useless. USELESS ang salita para sayo. As in U S E L E S S.
Walang napuntahan. Walang kwenta. Ba't ka pa nakilaa. Ang drama ko lang ngayon! Pero kailangan ilabas. Buti na lang. Buti na lang. Wala na. Para lang pampalipas lahat. Kalimutan na ang mga nangyari. Wag kang mag-alala, dahil yun na nga ang gagawin ko ngayon. Sanay na rin naman ako na wala ka. Kasi nga.

•  Lagi ka namang WALA
• Buti pa siya. Asa ka pa. Di na ako magtitiwala
• Yun lang at SALAMAT nalang

Reveal Secret to A Friend

I wanted to say something. But I was thinking of her, thinking of him.

       Difficult to pretend that everything is fine between us, when in fact, it's just ain't that. Afraid that i might lose him or her. she is my friend. but i think I'm liking him. I know it's wrong. so wrong to fall for this guy. Who was once a part of her. In this way. I tell you now. That am sorry for what's happening now. Though, you still don't know what's happening between us. it's about you and me. Our friendship. Am hoping that everything will still be all right, when i tell you about what's with me and him.




      Was it my fault? I just thought i can make him realize what he have done to you, that maybe, in my way, I can get give him your revenge. But I was taken with my own bait. And all those fights and debates just made us tick.


       Sorry... I never thought he'll take it seriously. Really.

LOVE

"They try to posses it. They demand. They expect. 

"Love is meant to retrieve from you. For love is meant to be free.

You can't change it's nature. If you love someone .Let him be.

"Give, but don't expect. advise-but don't order. ask. but never demand. it might

be simple. but it's a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly practice.

See how it is? it's reality. face it.